


Keep going

by pene



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Past Blaine Anderson/David Karofsky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 15:17:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3415568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pene/pseuds/pene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David Karofsky after the break-up and after the wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep going

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Corinna who also told me that Winston Churchill is attributed with "If you're going through hell, keep going". David Karofsky is for Wowbright.

It makes it seem easier, saying, “Go. Tell Kurt.”

Not that Dave really wants Blaine to go. But he smiles and there's truth in that.

Blaine is handsome; his boyish shoulders in that yellow sweater, his tiny waist Dave’s big hands can almost circle. He’s elegant and talented and light on his feet when he dances. He listens to Dave. He watches football and understands the plays, downloads superhero movies, even the ones that no one else liked. When he smiles the whole world wants to join in. Because everyone loves Blaine. And Blaine chose Dave which means that Dave’s encompassed in that love. He’s never felt like that before, not really.

So it hurts. Of course. But it doesn’t hurt as much as Dave expected. Blaine’s going to leave, Dave's known that for a while, but this way it’s kind of partly Dave’s own choice.

“No hard feelings,” he says and that's the truth too. After all it’s not like he really expected Blaine Anderson to want David Karofsky forever.

Dave likes holding on to the good part of the truth, the part he can show everyone. The part that belongs in the daylight. He looks after that part because that’s the way to make it stronger.

Once Blaine has gone, running after the love of his life, Dave stands alone in their kitchen. He can’t afford the rent here by himself, but it’s not like he can just go to his mom and dad.

Blaine doesn’t come home. Dave lies in the growing dark and tries not to imagine Blaine and Kurt reuniting. Their pretty faces and hands and bodies coming together, crashing together, falling together, moving together.

Kurt is nothing like Dave. He’s beautiful. He’s fragile and quick with words. He speaks a language Dave only half understands. Along with French. He probably never burps or slips in the snow or forgets to take out the trash. He cares more about theater and clothes than football. And he’s not the kind of guy you rely on in a fight. He’s the kind of guy you offer bunches of roses and sweet-faced teddy bears, maybe brooches and perfume like Dave's mom’s. He’s the kind of guy you look after.

Which is weird because sometimes Blaine needs to be looked after too. Dave hopes Kurt knows that.

Dave hasn’t forgotten that Kurt’s strong in his way. And he’s forgiving, which is maybe the strongest thing you can be. He loves Blaine. So it’s probably okay even though Dave feels sick deep in his belly.

Later, Blaine texts him. “I’ll be home tomorrow so we can talk if you like. I wanted to tell you nothing happened between Kurt and me. I guess I missed the opportunity. Thank you anyway. You’ve been so good to me.”

Dave is sort of sad for Blaine. Shamefully, he’s also relieved. He doesn’t think he can comfort Blaine about this, like he could about other things. He can’t hold him and take care of him. Blaine’s probably crying and there’s nothing Dave can do. The thought tugs at his heart and stings his eyes.

But whether Blaine has Kurt in his life or not it doesn’t change anything really. Blaine isn’t Dave’s anymore. Four days later Dave moves out. Blaine stays on to live among Brittany Pierce’s rainbow walls alone. 

**

Dave’s meeting Blaine at the Lima Bean. He goes to the counter first, smiles at the barista. After some consideration he sits down at their usual table. He waits with their coffees and cake. He worries a little. Maybe Blaine won’t come. Maybe Blaine’s changed his coffee order.

Blaine’s a bit late, no more than usual. He’s wearing a blue sweater and a bow tie and tight red pants and he looks so handsome Dave thinks everyone in the room must be watching him walk. Blaine’s limbs are relaxed as they move. He looks at ease with himself. It’s riveting.

Dave half stands.

“No. No no,” Blaine says, waving his hands and smiling that familiar smile. “Don’t stand up for me.”

The chair scrapes the floor as Dave sits down again. He takes a breath, stills.

Blaine has a ring on his finger.

It’s not the sort of thing Dave usually notices. But this is Blaine. He’s always been worth noticing. And Dave spent a couple of months allowed to really notice. Allowed to touch him even. This ring thing has to be a joke. Dave tears his eye from Blaine’s hand to Blaine’s face. There’s an explanation. Some kind of Anderson family tradition that someone like David Karofsky can only kind of get.

Blaine sits across the table from him and picks up his coffee. Dave can’t stop watching.

“Thank you.” Blaine sips delicately. “This is perfect. Next time it’s on me.”

Blaine’s eyes have this light to them, like all his warmth and sunshine is just there, ready to burst from him into the world. Like he’s just holding it all inside. Dave blinks.

“How are you?” Blaine asks.

“Oh. Me.” Dave is flustered. “Yeah, okay.”

“And how’s the team? How're things with Craig?”

“Oh yeah. Nothing much came of that. The team’s good. Couple of recent wins.”

“That’s great, Dave,” says Blaine.

Dave gathers himself. “And how are you doing?”

Blaine looks for a moment like he’s somewhere else completely. Somewhere huge that fills him up to bursting. He bites his lovely lip. “I’m really good, thanks. But the thing is-” He pauses and it feels like something’s hanging there above Dave, some kind of threat. “I wanted to tell you in person that Kurt and I, we got back together. Um.” Blaine runs on filling the space. “I thought you should hear it from me. I have to thank you for being so good about it. I don’t know if I could be so generous.”

He looks sincerely worried, but still has to press his lips together over happiness. Dave’s stomach twists and his breath catches at the back of his throat. Kurt’s not even here but Dave knows that expression on Blaine. He’s seen tiny pieces of it in the last month. It’s never been there for Dave.

“That’s good,” he manages because he did say he wanted this. It wasn’t untrue. He wants to be as generous as Blaine thinks he is.

He looks around the room.

When Blaine met up with Kurt at Scandals he brought Dave with him. Dave knows enough to realize that the fact Blaine didn’t need to bring Kurt today isn’t a good thing.

Dave says, “But I’m a bit confused. You said you’d missed the opportunity.”

Blaine inhales. His face is so lovely and certain. “Yeah. I thought I had. But Kurt just came by one day. It was kind of, it was crazy.” He looks at the table and laughs to himself. “Suddenly everything was clear, all perfectly aligned. I think this was something that couldn’t really be missed. We- we’re lucky like that. I’m lucky.”

“Right. Yeah, that’s good.” Dave keeps nodding. He probably looks like an idiot. Blaine smiles that secret far off smile.

It’s hard not to think they’re both amused at Dave’s pain, just a little. Shouldn’t they be? How could Dave think he was good enough to date Blaine? How could Kurt not win in the end?

Blaine goes on speaking. His eyes are focused on Dave. But behind them there’s that warmth, always there. A light and a knowledge he was always going to get and Dave may never have. “And um. There’s more. We got married. Kurt and I got married.”

Married. Kurt and Blaine. Just like that, like Dave was nothing, just a tiny bump in the road. Something to remember and laugh about.

It’s like a fist to Dave’s stomach. He gets up. Pushes the chair back and stands over the table. He’s big, he can never forget that, and Blaine flinches. There’s a second where that flinch sits sweetly with Dave. He knows Blaine works out, has seen those muscular shoulders training and touched them when they’re damp with sweat. But Dave will never be threatened by Blaine.

Dave closes his eyes and counts to himself. He holds at ten.

Then he steps back half a step, pushing the chair across the floor with a scrape. He has worked hard not to intimidate people. He’s worked even harder not to want to anymore. Not even when his heart aches and the whole world seems to be laughing at him.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you like that,” says Blaine, looking up at him from the table. Dave wishes he wasn’t so obvious, He wished he could lock his reactions down somehow and hide them. “Believe me when I say it wasn’t planned. At all. It just- you said it yourself. I’ve always loved Kurt. It’s always been forever with us. So how could I say no?”

Dave hesitates. Then he sits down, pulls the chair in and picks up his coffee. Blaine watches carefully.

Dave wants the best for Blaine. Of course he does, he said that over and over. He meant it. But a week or two ago Blaine and Kurt weren’t even touching one another.

“Is that wise?” he asks eventually.

“Oh,” says Blaine and he frowns for a second as though doubting himself and his happiness. But then he says, sweet and sure but with such gentleness, “It’s not wise at all I guess. But it’s constantly-. It feels so right. Not just to be with him but to be married to him. It’s amazing. It amazes me. He amazes me. I’m so happy, Dave.” It’s not like Dave couldn’t tell.

When Dave smiles he means it almost all the way. “Then I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you,” says Blaine sincerely. He takes a breath. “You’re a great guy, Dave. A great boyfriend. You’re funny and kind and good. You’ve worked so hard to overcome stuff. I know you’ll find love too.”

Blaine believes everything he’s saying. Dave hopes that because Blaine said it, it’ll come true.


End file.
